First is to philĕō—to “love” from the feelings—owing to favorable inclinations. Since most of us easily philĕō, have “tender affection” for anyone or anything that we like, let’s move on.
Second is to agapaō—to “love” from the will—especially when disinclined to do so. To agapaō is difficult because it requires that we love against the current of our intense dislikes, thoughts, and feelings for those whom we have absolutely no philĕō.
That’s because when we love from our will, we love from the mind that is not yet renewed, so it’s going to be difficult to agapaō those we don’t like. Our minds remember how badly “they” treated us, so we pursue emotional supports from others. These social-emotional benefits will gratify us temporarily, but the cost to our freedom is great because our actions show we are held captive by our mind’s mental-emotional pull!
Instead, let’s use every negative situation to work for us:
- Love is patient. (Where are we most impatient?)
- Love is kind. (Are we making cruel remarks about someone behind their backs?)
- Love keeps no record of wrongs. (In families especially, how long is our list?)
- Love always perseveres. (Giving up on ourselves already?)
By the way, agapē-love, not philĕō-love, is required to enter into life (Matthew 19:16, 17).
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Scripture quotations from New King James Version (NKJV) unless otherwise noted; Greek definition from Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible: love-philĕō - #5368; love- agapaō - #25; More agapē-love guidelines can be found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV; Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words (1981); excerpts from our book to be released next year.
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